Tense

I force myself to lie here languidly
Although my heart is beating through my chest:
Perhaps pretending calm when I'm distressed
Will make me be what everyone can see.
I hope it will, because I honestly
Can't stand to be this way. My stomach's pressed
Into a ball, my breath is tight, my breast
Constricted beyond reason. Look at me
And you will see a painting of pure calm,
Arrayed in unexpressive ease, and chill;
Almost as if dead to all the world.
But inside I am still so tightly curled
You could not pry me open. I am still
Despite distress, and hope it acts as balm.