Hendecasyllabic

Had I been other than I am today
So many things would have been better then.
But now, alas, I am the same as when
I said what I admit I shouldn't say.
I still commit to twisting and delay
And yet I find a way, ever again,
To speak before my turn, when other men
Who seem to do things in a faster way
Somehow find the moment that I miss.
I'm still like that, and so I cannot be
Too critical of who and how I was;
For, though I see the moment of my crisis,
I'm still myself and therefore cannot see
A way to do what everybody does.