Two X

I have not the power to resist
The strange emotions pulsing through my soul;
They ambush me, and powerfully insist
On altering what used to be my goal.
No longer may I wish to be alone
And self-sufficient only on my terms.
Now something different inside me is grown
Of which before I had only the germs:
I love, and love will not permit me to
Desire otherwise than that I be
With and expecting to be still with you
Although I still wish to do right by me.
Now I have double wishes in my heart
Of which my selfishness is only part.