Turns

I've always wondered what it would have meant
If I had said what I was thinking then.
Would you have turned to look at me again,
Or not gone down that road? Of course, you went,
And I, because I did not speak, have sent
My hopes into the hands of other men,
Who keep them better than I did. But when
You think about that day, and my intent,
I'd have you think of this as well as that:
That I'm aware how dumb I was that day,
And know the costs of idiocy now.
I hope to make you understand, somehow,
That I am better now then when I sat
So silently and watched you walk away.